| John's
Burn Recovery Journal
This is Page 2 / Feb - May 1998
Feb 2, 1998
I am aiming
to go back to work in a week. My clients have been very patient and understanding.
I am still worn out, but it may be time to start easing back in. Speaking
of work, Johnny decide that he has no future in women's retail. He quit
yesterday, after one short week. Oh well, somewhere out there is a job
just for him!
Feb 3
Today John
is going out to lunch with a good friend! Would like to tell the "in town"
friends that John is now available for outings with friends - lunch, dinner,
movies. Hey, no bowling or touch football games however!! (hmm...come to
think of it, he never did that before either!). The only catch is, YOU
have to drive! After almost 4 weeks of CONSTANTLY SPENDING EVERY WAKING
MINUTE TOGETHER - John wants -and NEEDS - a break! Tomorrow I am going
out all by myself for several hours alone, doing library research (my idea
of a great escape!). Am looking forward to it. John is looking forward
to having the house, stereo volume controls, and computer ALL to himself!!
Feb 3
Today John is going out to lunch with a good friend! Would like to tell the "in town" friends that John is now available for outings with friends - lunch, dinner, movies. Hey, no bowling or touch football games however!! (hmm...come to think of it, he never did that before either!). The only catch is, YOU have to drive! After almost 4 weeks of CONSTANTLY SPENDING EVERY WAKING MINUTE TOGETHER - John wants -and NEEDS - a break! Tomorrow I am going out all by myself for several hours alone, doing library research (my idea of a great escape!). Am looking forward to it. John is looking forward to having the house, stereo volume controls, and computer ALL to himself!! John is still having problems with his forehead. This seems to be taking a very long time to heal back up. Also, his right arm is still very red and seeping a bit. His backside is very tender, but healing to the point of no bandages there at all! Yesterday I spent more time doing the scar tissue and over all massage. I have been cheating John on this, and it is very important that we set aside the time every single day to do it correctly. I enjoy giving the massage, it makes John feel relaxed. I feel that anything I can do to bring pleasure to skin that has been a source of pain is very very good for John. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. ~PS - As I
write this, my step mom is having surgery. Please say an extra prayer today
for Barbara~
FEB 4
How true, and how sad this is. Now that we have faced a life threatening/life changing episode, the way I (and John and Johnny, I'm sure!) view things has changed. There are many discoveries and life lessons to learn, as you face the daily challenges. It seems we put things off, sometimes with false promises, "no time for this or no time for that", but when you are stricken, all those activities that once filled your time no longer seem important. I am reflective today, thinking about one of the blessings to come from John's accident. Yesterday I posted that he was available for outings. His "dance card" is filling up, with friends who enjoy his company. Making the time to go to lunch, the movies, or a museum with a friend is something many people (especially males) tend to put off. What a great part of John's healing process that he can partake and enjoy a relaxing visit with a friend. Thank you for reading this, and thank you for being a friend! PS - thank
you for the inquiries about my step mother - she has some recovery time,
but she will be fine!
Feb 5
FEB 7
One of the physical things that John is having a rough time with is sleeping. In the past five weeks, he has only slept through the night once that we can remember. He has taken Benadryl, Vicodin (codine), hydroxyzine, and last night he tried his Rx for chloral hydrate - which the pharmacist said would knock him out in 30 minutes! Didn't work! I am naming the drugs in case any of you might know of something else we can ask the doctors for. Night time around here is getting to be stressful! We hope John can find some peace soon! I started back to work last evening. I'm just a tad rusty, but will get up to speed soon. Now that I have some income again, I want to buy something for John. I hadn't mentioned this before, but John's wedding ring was accidentally thrown away at the hospital. It's kind of a long story, and it didn't seem important at the time, as we had much more pressing issues to focus on. I knew someday it might bother me to have lost the ring. I feel a little sad, for sentimental reasons, but it was just an object, which can be replaced. I must be thinking of the ring, because we are going to a wedding later today. We went to
the hospital again yesterday (Friday), for John to be fitted for his compression
garments. These are custom made things, so they will take a few weeks to
come in. Right now, John still has open wounds, so hopefully, when the
garments come in, he will be ready to start wearing them. He will have
to wear these 23 hours a day, for at least a year, up to 2 years! They
think for him it will be about a year. John's garments will consist of
gloves, with just the finger tips exposed; sleeves on each arm, from the
wrist up to the arm pit; and a pair of shorts, down to the knees. They
have to be replaced about every 3 months or so. John decided to make a
fashion statement, and ordered a black set and a purple set. The flesh
tone wasn't very appealing to us.
Feb 9
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." That's him! John had a good time at an outing with a friend yesterday afternoon - he is very lucky to have folks who care so much about him. We also went out to dinner for the first time with friends Saturday evening - had a very nice time! oh - we each have separate plans for lunch today - John is meeting a friend, and I am meeting two wonderful ladies. My first lunch out since December!! Life is Good!! Today all three of us are going to visit the lab where the fire occurred. I understand that it's been cleaned up now. I am a little nervous about going, but it should be helpful to see it. Will write about it tomorrow. I wanted to write a little about the wedding on Saturday afternoon. The man who was married was John's co worker from the fire. I don't know him very well (well, I guess I have gotten to know him in the past 5 weeks!). We were happy to be invited, to witness a new beginning, a celebration of love and life! I was overcome with so many emotions - it was surprising - I hadn't expected that. I was thinking that John and I had 20 years together before being handed this obstacle of his being burned. Here, it happened to his coworker, just weeks before his wedding. During the service, the priest was saying how for many engaged couples, just getting the wedding planned causes much stress. He said, but buying a house and moving (they did that a few weeks ago!), AND planning a wedding is really stressful. But blowing up laboratories, moving and getting married - well, now THAT'S stressful! It was a great
wedding moment - brought the house down!!
Feb 10
Powerful words!
I was visiting with my dear sweet wonderful friend, Jan, last night. She
made me realize how important our friends have been in helping John's recovery.
Yesterday I wrote about John's attitude being so good. Jan pointed out
that without the power of prayer, love, kindness and support, John's attitude
might be different. Wow! I hadn't put the total picture together before.
She is so right! I would like to sincerely say THANK YOU to EVERY SINGLE
PERSON reading this page. Our lives have been touched forever by the cards,
calls, visits, transportation to the hospital, gifts, prayers, meals, e-mail,
and even the jokes to cheer John!! And - Simply by reading this page, thinking
about us for a minute or two, saying a quick prayer, sending a warm thought
our way, you are helping!! I wish there was a special word that says it
better, but can't think of anything other than THANK YOU!!!
~PS~
BUT we all know better than that, huh? Becoming a parent has been the best experience of my life, and I am sure every parent reading this feels the same way. I was thinking the other day how funny life can be. Back in 1980 - when Johnny was born - John was working on his PhD at U of Michigan. He was only a year away from completing his degree. Well, he decided to leave school, so we could have a "real" life together as a family (a year seems like such a looong time when you are in your 20s!). That's when John hired on at Marathon. John never gave up his dream of earning his doctorate. So a few years ago, he went back part time at the Colorado School of Mines. As of Jan 4, he was down to being about one year away from earning it. Well, life's circumstances have once again slowed him down! We joke about it a bit. I told him not to wait 18 more years again - - I don't want to know what that hurdle might be!! So, hopefully, if he jumps in again soon, he will have his PhD in about a year and a half. I am "giving" Johnny his bulletin board "card" later tonight. So if you would still like to sign it today, please feel free to do so. Thanks to those of you who have signed it! FEB 13
We missed taking
Johnny out for his birthday dinner, as I came down with a fever. I am still
running one, but I hope to feel well enough tonight so we can take him
out for a celebration. Thanks to all of you who posted him a message! He
liked the birthday board very much!
Feb 14
I'm not commenting
on that quote! Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day!
Feb 16
The physical healing has slowed down. There are no major changes from day to day (other than how many blisters have I raised from the day before!). The wounds are just about closed -- the areas that haven't are kind of stubborn, but I'm hoping that another week should do it. My face has gotten better -- I've gotten several comments in that last couple days of "Skiing without sunscreen?" This is before they see the bandages on my arms. Probably the worst problem is that the skin on my hands is very thin & it's very easy to raise blisters. I'm preferring to wearing Dockers instead of jeans because the jeans are too rough on my hands when I put them in my pockets to dig out my wallet, change, keys, etc. The blisters don't really hurt, they just look gross. Sally really hated the 2" one from my knuckle to the middle of my hand! This actually was been a pretty good weekend. Sally was feeling better. We took Johnny & his girl friend out to dinner on Friday night for his birthday. Sally & I went to a movie for Valentine's Day. (The Apostle with Robert Duvall for those interested. Quite a powerful movie.) I hope everyone reading this has the grace & good fortune to have been able to spend the day with someone special. I have been telling people for the last couple months that Sally is an angel -- and sometimes I don't even think that term is strong enough to describe her. It felt good to do something with her as a small token of my love & appreciation for what she has done for me. Sunday I went downtown with a friend that I haven't been able to get together with since he & his family moved back to Colorado from Switzerland. Years ago, when they lived across the street, it was pretty common to walk across the street, have a beer, watch the sun go down, & philosophize about life. Well, today, the beer was replaced with coffee, but it still great to visit & philosophize about life. Sally has said that positives will from come my accident & recovery. Today was another example of my renewing friendships that I may have kept postponing otherwise. People have commented about the positive outlook I have had during my recovery. Over the weekend, I happened to think that maybe it was because of the example shown me by Kevin, a friend & co-worker who was diagnosed with lung cancer last year. He was given only short time to live. He faced his future with a dignity & a determination that I could never match. Kevin didn't survive his battle, but he didn't give up & he didn't back down. The coincidence was that after thinking about Kevin, I got a card from Connie, his widow. She had just found out about my situation -- she sent her get well wishes & she let me know what was happening with her life. She also is having some physical problems along with still coping with the loss of her husband. I called her on the phone & was awestruck with her upbeat & positive attitude. Wow! With an example like that, I would hope that my attitude would be nothing less than positive. Sorry for the long message for today. This may be why Sally does the updates & not me. I hope you all find that life is worth living. As I have been saying since the accident, life is good. FEB 17
I remember very well, on the first morning after the fire, going to see John at the hospital. One of the first things he said was, "you know that Robert Frost poem, Fire and Ice? - Well, I've decided, I choose ice!". It struck me as an odd comment. Firstly because, although I'm a fan, I didn't know that John paid much attention to Frost and secondly, that he would be having thoughts like that. His statement seems almost humorous now, but at the time, it made me very sad. For what it's worth, I just felt like sharing the poem with you all today. Oh, and by the way, when I reminded John of it last night, he did laugh! I was glad John did the update yesterday morning. I have been nagging him to put in a guest appearance for weeks now! Several of you commented on the "new look" of the page. Giving his page a "face lift" - by adding the little push buttons, and adding the guest book was my Valentines gift to John. I know it's a weird present, but hey, I don't get out much for shopping anymore! Today John
has an appointment with the company doctor, to discuss the terms and limitations
of his return to work. Since about 1 hour after the fire, John has been
talking about going back to work! I am concerned about his still open wounds,
but I tend to be a mother hen, so I'll keep quiet and let the doctor decide.
John is hoping to go in for at 3 or 4 hours a day for a while.
FEB 18
I like that
one! I guess John is "bouncing"! He was cleared to return to work for a
few hours every afternoon. Our mornings are still pretty full with the
showering and bandage changes - I think we are down to about an hour. We
end up re-doing most of it again in the evening, as the itching gets bad
by the evening. He does have restrictions on certain aspects of his work,
but he'll keep busy. He is elated. He had the review yesterday morning.
So right after lunch with a friend, he went into work for the afternoon.
AND - just like old times, he lost track of the time, and got home late!!
Feb 20
Hi -- this
is John again writing today's update. You can tell -- Sally finds deep
insightful quotes, I just quote popular songs.
We are starting
to reclaim our regular lives at home. The time required for Sally's part
of the bandaging has been cut down considerably since I can get ready by
myself. The down side is that she still has to wait around for me. The
wounds are nearly all closed up. I still have to be careful about the blistering
on my hands & wear sunscreen on my face. I'm also finding that if I
do the scar massage on a newly closed area, I tend to do it too hard &
get bruising. There's one area on the back of my arm that's pretty black
-- gave Sally quite a shock.
FEB 21
John, I admit
you are better at quoting popular music, but I found you some quotes by
one of your favorite guys!! Enjoy!! The one quote from the above list that
struck me was the last one. I was thinking, in the past 6 and 1/2 weeks
how many times we have had to just "move the table". So many little things
came up, questions, concerns about the everyday things we were dealing
with. We soon learned that common sense was the answer. I do wish we had
been better prepared on aspects of the healing process. In a few weeks
I plan on writing the to the hospital, with some suggestions on how they
may better aid the families of burn victims. I hope someone reads it!
Feb 24
Feb. 25
Johnny & I went out tonight. With my leather bomber jacket and the fingerless black gloves, he mentioned I looked like Gambit of the X-Men. And here my favorite was always Cyclops. Oh, well. I think Sally is planning on taking some pictures of them & posting them on the web so people can see what they look like. Unfortunately, the pair that I have right now are black & may not show up well in a picture. Sometime next week I'll get my other 2 sets (gray & purple) -- if these photograph better, then the pictures will be delayed a little bit. I really came to realize how lucky I was when I saw two other patients in the Burn Unit today. Both had been severely burned in a fire in August. One had been in the hospital for the 6 months and was finally going home today. I don't want to go into any details, but it brought home to me the saying "I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet." I hope both of these men have support like I have had to aid them in their recovery. Just to make this even longer, I wanted to post something from today's Ann Landers that seemed appropriate: "To realize
the value of one year - ask a student who has failed his final exam.
Feb 27
Hello! We are
trying not to be overcome here! Yesterday was one of the rougher days we
have had in a long time. John developed blisters on his upper arm from
wearing the compression garments. Rather large ones, at that. The garments
were causing lots of frustration - they are difficult even to put on. Of
course they are made to be very snug, and John's swelling / fluid retention
still fluctuates, so some days will be worse than others. We ended up going
down the the hospital yesterday, so his OT could have a look at what was
going on. Because John's left hand is especially tender (lots of blisters),
she wrapped his hand in tape. This is a pressure, non adhesive tape (it
sticks to itself), that will allow John's skin to get used to the friction
and pressure of the glove. I will wrap it everyday until next Thursday,
when John is due at the burn clinic for a checkup. Lisa also told John
that he could work up to wearing the garments 23 hours a day - if the garments
really bother him, he can take them off. The pants seem to be doing fine,
because that burn healed over quite a while ago. But his arms and hands
are very very tender, and having the tight abrasive garments on causes
some problems.
March 2
MARCH 5
"Objects are closer than they appear". Looking at the past is exactly like that: Once you’ve solved a problem and put it behind you, it simply doesn’t loom as large in your vision. The same type of optical illusion occurs - but in reverse - with the problems that still lie ahead: Obstacles will always appear larger than they are until you’ve managed to get past them. I read that
several days ago, and it was still on my mind today, so I thought it might
be worth sharing. The words really hit home for me.
MARCH 9
Life without
hope is an empty, boring, and useless life. I cannot imagine that I could
strive for something if I did not carry hope in me.
This is John
with the update. Boy, even my quotes are longer than Sally's!
There were
many other ways that this weekend went well: dinner with good friends;
I stayed between services at church and saw other friends I hadn't seen
for quite a while (some "choir widowers" I conned into joining the ushers
years ago :-) ); continued messages of good will and prayers even as I
feel more and more healed. One scene of passing was Friday night, when
Sally & I went to a going away get-together for the guy who was on
the scene & made sure that we got into the showers. As Sally said to
him when we were leaving, "What do I say to the guy who saved my husband?"
Another time of emotions.
March 14
At work on Monday there was a "Safety Awareness Day." Last year Marathon Oil only had 3 accidents company wide (2nd best for oil companies our size) -- this year our location alone has had 2. My group had their first meeting at 8:00 am -- since I was one of the safety "poster children" I felt it was important to get there on time. We were to examine any potentially hazardous steps in the jobs we do & plan safety precautions accordingly. We have started to plan our changes to the lab in which we had the accident. We should know in about 2 weeks whether we'll rebuild the equipment or not. We're still a couple pictures short of developing the roll with new pictures of my face. It is still pretty pink but not that bad. I'm getting a lot of comments of "Skiing a lot?" or "You really should wear sunscreen when you ski!" even from strangers! I tell them that it makes me happy that it has healed so well that this is what it looks like. I appreciate the continued messages of support & prayers. I'll try to put updates on every couple days. It's like the old saying: No news is good news. I'll be back to see the doctors at the Burn Clinic on Tuesday & I'll post after that. March 17
I had been looking for the following & it was published in today's Dear Abby. I think it's pretty funny. It's supposed to be an Irish blessing: May those
who love us, love us,
Hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day. March 24
Best Actor: Jack Nicholson??? I saw the movie when it first came out. His performance was just typical Jack. Thought he was going to fall in a vat of chemicals at any moment & turn into the Joker! My preference really was for Robert Duvall. His performance as Sonny in The Apostle was breathtaking! Definitely not some stock performance. It was nice that Duvall was noticed with a nomination, but too bad he didn't get the award. Best Picture: I think the Academy got it right -- Titanic overall was a great picture even though the individual performances were just OK. I personally thought the love story was kind of hokey (I've been heard to call the movie a 3 hour chick flick), but it did provide a way to tell the story. The movie itself affected me deeply. It was chilling to think about what went through the minds of those unfortunate people who had 2 hours to prepare to die. (And, to answer Deb, yes, even after watching Titanic, I would pick ice over fire.) I heard criticism of James Cameron on the radio today for first screaming "I'm the king of the world!" after winning the Best Director award and then asking for a moment of silence after the Best Picture award. They thought it was hypocritical. I personally thought it was a real & touching moment. By the way, I liked The Full Monty, but as a cute, "small" picture. I think it would have ruined its mystique if it would have won Best Picture. If you haven't seen it, it's definitely worth seeing. In the theater, Sally stood and applauded at the end. She wants to rent it & see it again tomorrow! Best Actress: I didn't see enough of the different movies to really say much. Helen Hunt was OK, but so was Kate Winslet. By the way, some of the media people were REALLY irritating saying that Kate Winslet is "pudgy." GIVE ME A BREAK! Personally, I can't see the attraction in aneorexic women. Best Supporting Actress: Good choice. If not for Titanic, I would have picked LA Confidential as my favorite of those nominated, partly due to Kim Bassinger's performance. Her shock at winning seemed absolutely genuine (what's the phrase, "She's not that good of an actress"). I did like Gloria Stuart in Titanic, though. Best Makeup: Of all of the movies I saw last year, Men In Black was my favorite. (Something about Tommy Lee Jones playing straight man to Will Smith!) Nice to see it won something. Hope to have another update around the weekend. Next appointment at the Burn Clinic is next week Thursday, April 2nd. Hope y'all have a good week. April
2
The docs & PT agree that I should use the next month to start wearing the compression garments as much as possible. The last couple nights I've been trying to wear the gloves & sleeves at home at night & also to try to sleep in them. This has gone well in that there are no new blisters. There does seem to be a problem with 2 of the 3 left gloves, though. Last night, the glove was so tight, I woke up @ 12:00 with my finger tips cold & tingling -- I slept the rest of the night without that glove & sleeve. Lisa (the PT) checked the glove & it is restricting the blood flow to my fingers even though it's not really tighter than it should be. I'll be watching it carefully over the next couple days. We may have to get the gloves remade. Other good news from the appointment is that I don't have to go back for 3 months. Other news is that we finally got a couple of new pictures of my face. One is from early February but the other is from last weekend. Final story for today is a conversation I had with Kent this afternoon. I told him that I've been using his skiing philosophy to guide my life the last couple of months. (He was very surprised when I told him this because he had no idea what I was talking about!) I reminded him of what he told me a couple years ago when we went skiing together. Kent has skied for years is a very good skier. His kids have been Olympic caliber skiers for the past several years. I felt guilty suggesting taking the intermediate (blue) runs since I wasn't that good. He didn't mind what type of runs we were on -- his comment: "I just enjoy every second of every minute of skiing." I'm trying to keep my philosophy on life similar to this -- I've just been enjoying every minute of every day that I have been able to heal & recover no matter how well or poorly I think the day is going. Thanks for reading. I'll post something in the next couple of days to let you know about my latest experience with the compression garments. April 14
There's no hidden message in this quote — I just think it's funny. It's amazing how a "couple of days" until my next update has quickly become a couple of weeks. I don't know if life is necessarily getting back to normal, but we are getting a pattern down. I've been back to work full time & back to the gym (amazing the importance of these two items). Sally's been busy with her new web site & trying to get a web design business going (shameless plug!). Johnny's winding down his high school career & getting ready for the summer & college in the fall. I've been wearing the compression garments during the day since my appointment at the Burn Clinic. This is going pretty well. I did have to clip some of the fingers on the purple & gray garments because they were a little too tight. Because of this & the natural stretching of the garments, I now get good circulation in my fingers. I'm still having some problems during the night, so I'm taking off the burn garments & wearing the elastic bandages instead. My target is still to wear the burn garments for 23 hours, but at least the elastic garments are giving some compression. I'm still getting some blistering, but they're not as painful as before. I'm getting pretty good at putting a Telfa pad on top of the blistered area before putting on the compression garments. This seems to do the trick. I've been wearing an Ace bandage around my head (like a head band) when I go to bed. The compression seems to be helping to reduce the scarring on my temples. One of these days (oh boy, back to procrastination) I need to call Lisa (the PT) & see if I can get a "real" compression head band. Then the pressure would be correct & I wouldn't have to guess. The rest of my face seems to be getting better. Still pink, but not quite as bad. I've seen some people who have gone skiing that are redder than i am now. The scars on my arms also seem to be slowly healing. At "normal" times the scars are still pretty purple. When I work out & I really get the blood flowing, the scars almost look black. I can almost tell how good a workout it was by how dark the scars are. It is pretty gross looking (especially for people walking into the locker room when I getting ready to take my shower), but it's not painful. The color goes back to a normal purple after about a 1/2 hour. I don't have much to say about my healing, so I'll make some more movie comments. Sally & I went to see The Big Lebowski last week. I thought it was pretty funny but Sally hated it! Actually, "hated" is not a strong enough word. I think it must be a gender thing. The only other person I talked to about the movie was Gretchen. Even after warning her, she let her two girl friends talk her into seeing it. The three of them hated it, too! So, if anyone has seen it, let me know what you think. I've been describing it as a warped guy kinda movie without any real chase scenes but a lot of bowling & beer. I'll report if I get responses. I hope to post next week with more news on the healing front. If there isn't much to say, I'll post some more inane comments about movies and/or music. Hope everyone has a wonderful week. May 4, 1998 "Have you
ever been close to tragedy?
I'm not
a coward,
The Impression That I Get by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones Thanks for the messages of concern, wondering how my recovery is coming along. Physically I've been doing well. I've been back to work full time since March & old habits are coming back. True, I'm not getting in before 8:00, but with my long lunch times at the gym, I've been working until 5:30 or so. (Doesn't leave much time at home until my 10:00 bedtime!) The deeper scars on my wrists & right elbow are still purple but appear to be getting slowly better. I had some problems a couple weeks ago when we traveled to Ohio. I just took my compression garments (not the Tubigrip to sleep in). Sleeping in the compression garments raised a bunch of blisters — a 1" diameter blister on my left wrist & 6 blisters of assorted size on the back of my elbow. These are healing slowly, but I still have to be careful to place Telfa pads on top to keep the areas from getting further irritated. I'm back to sleeping in the Tubigrip again until everything closes up & I can try sleeping in the compression garments again. Other good news is that I have not been having problems sleeping lately. I have cut out all medications. Part of this ability to sleep, though, is due to also cutting out caffeine after noon. It seems strange to order a decaf non-fat latte, but the taste is still there. Do miss the caffeine buzz though ... Not associated with my injuries, Johnny & I went to see Lost in Space the other night. What a bad movie! We weren't expecting much & we weren't disappointed. We both like Matt LaBlanc (Joey from Friends). We wanted to see him in a "serious" role. I half expected him to say "Hey ... how you doin'?" every time he met one of the Robinson women. There has been a lot of other good news over the last couple weeks. When we were in Michigan & Ohio, we got a chance to see a lot of family & friends that we haven't seen since the accident. Also, my good friend (& workout partner) got married last weekend — it was an honor to be at the wedding & share in Eric & Ann's joy. (By the way, he was the one with the "very unique gift that only a close friend could get away with" early on & the tiramisu a little later.) We wish them a long & happy time together! The song quote for today has nothing to do with my situation, but is really for my sister-in-law & her daughter. As some of you already know, we were back in Toledo for the funeral of our nephew, Austin. Austin was the 16 year old son of Sally's sister & was the cousin Johnny felt closest to. He was killed in an auto crash. The situation reminded us all (again) how quickly & easily lives can be changed forever. Just a small change before an accident & it doesn't happen — we go on not knowing how close we were to death. Just a small change at the time of an accident can mean the difference between life & death. I've been saying since the accident that "Life is good & every day is a good day" — well, life is good, but some days are better than others. If you're interested, Sally has prepared a pagein honor of Austin. May 25,
1998
The biggest news is that Johnny graduated from high school this week!! It was quite a graduation ceremony! My mother & Sally's father & step-mother came into town for the weekend. (It was great to have them here to share in the celebration!) We all were beaming with pride as John went up on stage to accept his diploma. The ceremonies were outside at Red Rocks Amphitheater, an amazing theater set in the rock formations just west of Denver. (There was a U2 video shot there about 10 years ago, Sunday, Bloody Sunday, I think). The evening's experience was just awesome. One of the teacher's gave the graduation speech. At one point during the speech he talked about the parents. My first instinct was to think about my mother & Sally's father sitting with us. It took a moment to realize he was actually talking about us! Talk about one of those moments that slap you across the face! Other tidbit — we saw Steven Wright, the comedian, a couple weeks ago. He comes across just as dry & just as hilarious on stage as seeing him on TV. It was a nice family evening out. It was also made special that we were joined by our good friend Andrea. Brought back memories of years ago when she joined us for a Bruce Springsteen concert because none of her other friends were able/interested in going. Again, hope to update the page in about 1 to 2 weeks, but it'll probably be 3. Thanks for visiting the page & hope that the start of your summer goes well. Good morning! This is Sally here today, filling in for John. Gosh it's been a long time since I've done this. It has been good therapy for John to work on the updates every couple of weeks. I can't believe that we still get messages from folks who are concerned when too much time goes by between updates. We cannot thank you enough for your support and concern for our family. John is on his first business trip since the accident. I think it's going OK so far. He sounded very tired when he called last night. There are inconveniences involved with travel. Keeping the garments washed out is a bother. We found out on our trip to Ohio that the garments just won't dry quick enough in a humid climate. I think once they were still damp after almost 24 hours of hanging up! It makes it hard when you are traveling from place to place. You've got to carefully synchronize your washing schedule. I might sound silly, but it really can add to the stress, because it would be almost impossible for John to go without wearing them. One thing that I have been more
aware of, is people staring at us in public. I remember when John was all
bandaged up that folks would stare. But at that time it was obvious that
he was injured. Now, people stare because of the garments. Usually they
are confused or sometimes even amused (that bothers me the most). I feel
very protective of John and I want to make up little cards and pass them
out explaining WHY he is dressed like that. A few people will inquire,
and we would both rather have people come up and ask rather than
stare.. Most think it's some kind of racing bike gear. John has even been
approached a few times in the gym by people asking if his new weight lifting
gear really works! John got a kick out of that one! He has maintained his
sense of humor about it, better than I have. The new garments should arrive
any day now. The left arm garment will be drastically smaller, so maybe
that will help. The non-symmetry will make it appear more medicinal and
less "fashionable" maybe!
June 29, 1998
The healing of the scars is going very slowly. Day-to-day progress is really slow. The scars on the hands, wrists, & back of the right elbow are still very purple & fairly thick. I am encouraged by seeing spots of normal skin within these areas, though. It takes longer for the skin to dry out, too. With it being so hot right now, it feels good to take the sleeves & gloves off for a while. A couple months ago, my skin would have dried out & felt very stiff after a very short period of time. I can go for about an hour or so & it will still feel OK. (In fact, I am now skipping the wearing of the sleeves & gloves when I am in the gym — they make me very hot & sweaty.) I haven't had any blisters since the trip to Ohio in April. I got my 1st set of replacement garments last week. Took Bio-Concepts 4 weeks to make them, not the 1 - 2 we thought it would take. The left arm now has just a glove that extends to the elbow, not a separate sleeve to the arm pit. I still have the sleeve to the arm pit on the right arm. The new garments are tight! They have made me realize just how much the 1st set of garments have stretched. Hopefully the other 2 sets of replacement garments will come in this week. I've done a fair amount of travelling this month. First part of the month I was in the Huntington, WV/Catlettsburg, KY area, followed by Toledo & Findlay, OH. Last week I was in New Orleans, LA. That weekend in Toledo was really nice. My sister & brothers & spouses planned a surprise 70th birthday party for my mother. Also at the party were her sisters & brother & all surviving brothers & sisters-in-law. She was definitely surprised when she saw everyone on my brother's deck! Spoken like a true grandmother, her first comment was "I hope you have food because I don't have any at my house!" Not to worry, there was plenty there. She was also surprised to see me there. I am continuing to try to run my life as normally as possible. I have returned to doing almost everything I was doing before the accident. I should be able to start back on my PhD research project in July. However, Sally has been trying to keep me out of the sun, so yard work is pretty much out of the question. (Oh, shucks!! Hope the sarcasm comes through.) I have been hitting the gym like a man possessed. I've actually been able to increase some of my weights above what I was doing pre-accident. I was pretty excited when I was able to do 2 reps @ 275# bench presses a couple weeks ago; I was actually able to do 3 reps @ 275# & 1 rep @ 295# today. Not a bad recovery. Hope that whoever reads this is finding joy in every aspect of life. July 9, 1998 Well, I had my 6 month check-up at the Burn Clinic today. And, no, contrary to what Sally has been joking about the last couple of weeks, we did not stop off at Sears to have my picture taken. (I personally don't get the joke, but I guess mothers with young babies do.) The appointment went very well. The scars are on threemain areas:
I'm pretty excited that we'll be seeing William Topley tomorrow night at the Paramount Theater. I was planning to go see him with Andrea (the friend who went with us to see Steven Wright in May). At the time we originally planned it, Sally & John weren't interested in going. I was having trouble getting a good pair of tickets to the show (last row up in the balcony -- yuck!). On Tuesday, John & I went to see him give a free in-store performance at Tower Records. Before the show, I was able at that time to get a pair of great seats (18th row center section on the floor). Topley's performance at the store was great -- afterwards, John said he enjoyed it so much he was sorry he wasn’t going to the Friday performance. This morning, Sally said she thought it would be fun to go, too. I must be living life lucky -- I came into work & found a message on my voice mail that I had won two tickets to the performance Friday night! This should be fun. I'm sure that the 2 pairs of tickets will not be together, but both sets should be great seats. I appreciate the continuing messages of support & concern. Hope everyone has a wonderful week. July 26, 1998
Below are some pictures taken a couple weeks ago by our rose bush in the back yard. The coloring on my face & arms is about right. The bumps on my temples are pretty much gone, but not the scar on the bridge of my nose. My face may be a little darker after going to the gym or if I've just been out in the car. I'm still having problems wearing sunscreen on my face — it may be OK for that day but then it breaks out for several days afterwards. So, I have the choice of getting a little pink all over or having big red marks on my face later. I'm still opting for the pink face. The picture of the back side of my arm is still accurate, too. Luckily, if I'm out in public without my sleeves, this part of my arm is not very noticeable. The skin is very dry around the elbow & the wrist. The elbow can be uncomfortable if I'm not careful how I extend it. At the last Burn Clinic appointment the doctor was pretty sure that the color would get lighter but he wasn't sure how much of the scarring would disappear. I feel pretty lucky even if it stayed at this point. I've been telling people that I'm over 40 so I should have a couple scars — someone else added that when we leave this mortal plane we should have a few signs to show for it. I've only had one trip since the last update, that being to Houston. The trip actually went pretty well. I was actually in Clear Lake, TX, about 1/2 way between downtown Houston & Galveston (and home to NASA's Johnson Space Center, not that this is were I was going). The traffic wasn't too bad (not like downtown or the Galleria area). I got a chance to have dinner with an old friend from my Ohio days. Also got to spend the afternoon in Galveston before I left. The waterfront area reminds me a lot of the character of Denver's LoDo — old warehouses being fixed up as shops, galleries, lofts, ... Galveston was also about 10° cooler since it is right on the water. The only bad part of the trip was taking the commuter turboprop from Dallas to Houston Hobby Airport. It was loud, it was hot (the A/C never got the plane cool), & the guy next to me was huge & had his elbows 1/2 way into my seat (the window, of course). The ride was so bumpy that I thought I was going to vomit as we were getting ready to land. And when the lady at the other window in my row did vomit, it was even harder to hold it down. Needless to say, I changed my flight back to take a real jet out of Houston Bush Intercontinental! John & I went to the LoDo Music
Festival last week. There were a lot of different acts for
just $12 playing in the streets just south of Coors Field. Two of
my favorites were local bands, the Shakin' Martinis (a swing band that
played inside the Tabu Lounge, a place complete with leopard print
carpeting) & Cabaret Riosa (a salsa band). The headliner that
night was Joan Osborne — she put on a great performance!
Throughout the night, we kept meeting up with Jim from work & several
of his friends. One of the funnier things about the evening was Jim
decided that John had a good plan as to which bands to watch, so we all
followed John around for most of the evening! Hope I didn't cramp
John's style — just how well can you impress the "chicks" when your dad
is standing right next to you?
Sept 23, 1998
I ordered new compression garments (sleeve & gloves, no pants) about a month ago &, like the last time, it has taken 4 weeks to get them (instead of the promised 1 to 2). I’ve gotten "Caucasian" colored this time instead of black – these should make me a lot less noticeable when wearing them. The biggest news in the last two months is that Sally had her surgery five weeks ago & has been doing GREAT in her recovery. We were told the surgery would take about 2 hours, she would be in the hospital 2 to 3 days, and recovery would take 4 to 6 weeks. The surgery went fine and she was really groggy the first evening. I was concerned when I saw her the next morning that she was in a lot of pain & she hadn’t slept well. Finally, they gave her a shot of Demerol at 10:00 am & she was out like a light! I left for about 1 hour & got back about 2:00. I was greatly surprised when I got back! The change over the 1 hour was nothing short of amazing! She was up, had showered, & she sent me out to get Reese’s peanut butter cups! (Couldn’t find any in the hospital’s vending machines, so M&Ms had to do.) Later that night she sent me out for a fish sandwich (she just didn’t care for the hospital food – can’t understand why). The next morning, I woke up at 7:00 am to the phone ringing -- she had been calling me since 6:30 to tell me the doctor said she could go home whenever she wanted. And she wanted NOW! She was home by 9:30 – she spent less than 48 hours in the hospital. Sally has told me that she is a little surprised with how self-reliant she has been during her recovery. She started walking up & down the stairs pretty much from the first day home. She was chomping at the bit to be cleared to do all of the things that she had been doing: driving, walking, vacuuming … (Thank goodness she doesn’t mind vacuuming – during the two weeks it was my job, I think I did it once & that was because we had a friend coming over!) It didn’t take her very long before she was back up at the computer doing web page design. I’ve had people tell me that my attitude during my recovery has been inspirational – I just prefer to keep the attitude "I’ve got all the pieces & they all work, so what’s the big deal?" But I think Sally’s attitude has put mine to shame. Other big news is that John started college a month ago. He is taking 15 hours in pre-Business at the University of Colorado-Denver. The campus area is gorgeous, especially for a commuter school. It is in the Auraria Campus area on the edge of LoDo. The campus is shared by three schools: CU-Denver, Metropolitan State College, and Denver Community College. In fact, students from all three schools can share the same classes. He seems to be taking to college pretty well, especially compared to high school. Probably has something to do with having classes only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Other minor news is that we’ve been to several concerts (mostly John & myself) and are planning to attend more in the upcoming month. John & I saw William Topely (again) at Boulder’s Fox Theater (Topley has been described as a 90s Van Morrison type singer – he’s not well know outside of the Denver area, but I would highly recommend him), the Freddy Jones Band, & the Bodeans. Sally & I saw a couple local groups, Dotsero (jazz) & Chris Daniels & the Kings (rock band with a horn section – hard to believe we’ve been going to see them for about the last 10 years). Coming up in town next month is the Royal Crown Revue & the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies. Can’t wait. With each passing day, we have been gaining new appreciation for the beauty of life. Hope everyone reading this can do the same. Nov 12, 1998
Here's an update on John's healing
process:
Some days his face looks real good, and sometimes he looks blotchy. On Halloween, John's face was on the red and blotchy side. John answered the door for a trick or treater, and my heart sank as I overheard a child ask John "what are you supposed to be?". Without missing a beat John said "A Human Torch". His attitude has never been one of self pity - and I attribute that to his remarkable healing, both physically and spiritually. Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this. Have a wonderful day. JUNE 8, 2000
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